Mom Guilt: How To Manage Work-Life Balance With Sick Kids
Mom guilt can steal the joys of motherhood and replace them with a cloud of constant worry. Read this blog to find out how you can take charge and be the best mom without any shame for your choices!
Is motherhood starting to feel like an endless loop of ‘Am I doing this right? Am I doing enough?’ No matter what we do (or don’t), there’s a persistent feeling in the back of our minds that tells us we’re not measuring up.
That’s the ‘mom guilt.’
It took a lot of self-awareness and unlearning to realize that mom guilt can be reduced significantly. You can be a working mother, a great partner, and a great friend at the same time. If you’re struggling with maintaining your work-life balance, this blog will help you cultivate the empowering mindset that helps you in the long run!
What is ‘mom guilt’?
Mom guilt is the creative name given to the way mothers feel when they don’t live up to the unrealistic expectations that society has attached to the role of a mother. For most of us, this guilt feels like an emergency siren screaming that you’re failing as a caregiver, a partner, a friend, or a person in general.
According to a survey by Bright Horizons, 87% of working mothers feel guilty about their job’s impact on their children, and 50% feel guilty about the time spent away from their children. So why do we get this feeling, no matter how much we do for our families?
Here are some reasons why you might be feeling overwhelmed by the mom guilt:
- You think you must be perfect at everything you do for your child, or
- Society has convinced you that you must deal with every aspect of your child’s upbringing and needs.
- You care way too much (which in itself proves that you are a good mom).
6 methods to overcome mom guilt
While it can feel overwhelming under the mom guilt, there is a way to reduce this! Or rather 6 different ways. Here are 6 ways you can cultivate a healthy mindset that can help you break free from mom guilt and achieve a stress-free work-life balance:
1. Identify your partner’s mitigating role
Repeat this: your partner is just as responsible for your children as you are. We’ve heard of mom guilt but has anyone talked about dad guilt? That’s right, it doesn’t exactly exist the way the former does!
That’s why you must identify the way your partner can help you avoid mom guilt by sharing household responsibilities, unlearning gender stereotypes, and being a supportive rock through and through. Some of these responsibilities can be:
- Getting groceries
- Creating meal kits
- Cleaning the house twice a week
- Cleaning the kitchen after cooking
- Driving the children to and from school or other activities
If you find it hard to find neutral ground in creating this dynamic with your partner, I recommend bringing in a family councilor or a psychologist for professional advice— much like my partner and I did.
2. Accept the trade-offs
Life is full of trade-offs, and this is especially true for working mothers. Accepting that combining motherhood and a career involves sacrifices and compromises can alleviate much of the guilt. Start by creating a list of why you work—whether for financial stability, personal satisfaction, or career progression.
Understanding and aligning with your core values will guide your decisions, making trade-offs more apparent and acceptable. Embrace your ambition and acknowledge that it is possible to be both a dedicated mother and a successful professional.
3. Treat yourself the same as your kids
As mothers, we often hold ourselves to unrealistic standards, expecting perfection in all aspects of life. However, it’s important to treat yourself with the same compassion you extend to your children.
Accept that you will make mistakes and that these mistakes are growth opportunities. When you mess up, practice self-compassion and set realistic expectations for yourself. Apologize when necessary and use these moments to teach your children about empathy and communication.
4. Recognize self-care
Spending time with family and kids is rewarding, I agree. But is it healthy to only spend time with your kids and have none for yourself? As your kids grow up, they will go through different stages, and you must remember that you’re growing up with them too— and going through new stages of life!
So, lean into it and learn how to become independent beyond your children as they grow and take time for yourself. Check yourself into a spa, visit the beach with friends, go out for a nice dinner, or simply pick an old hobby you haven’t touched in a while.
Tip: Try to pick one night per week for yourself where you pamper yourself.
5. Stop the compare game
Did you know a scientific study revealed the more you use social media, the lower your self-esteem becomes? And so, it’s time to stop scrolling through another mom’s highlight reels while comparing your very normal reality.
But Evelyn, I use social media as a way to unwind at the end of the day…
I get that too! So, instead of comparing yourself with women who seemingly have it all together, use your social media to consume that less-than-perfect side of parenting. When you come across a perfect parenting post, become self-aware and decide to disconnect yourself from it.
6. Create a supportive network
The mom-shame train has been around for as long as history dates. As moms, we’re often holed into a specific list of qualities and values that can make us anxious and awful in our roles as a mother. If you’re around people who hold a magnifying glass against everything you do, it’s high time you shift away from them.
Instead, pick a circle of people who support you when you need that extra positive push and who know you’re doing the best you can. When you have people who help you see the glass is half full, the mom guilt will be nowhere around you!
Final Thoughts
Navigating mom guilt while trying to build a work-life balance can feel like an impossible task. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When you know where your mom guilt stems from, you can take active steps to live beyond your role as a mother and become the person your kids will pick as their role model!
If you’re seeking a community of positive and supportive women who are on the same path as you, come join us in our Facebook community. It’s a safe and beautiful space in which we inspire and uplift each other as we make mompreneurship a reality together.
If you want to learn more in a relaxing and (dare I say) entertaining way, tune into my episode How to overcome Mom Guilt and Manage Sick Kids as a Working Mom.
And don’t forget to download the FREE Resources on Rebalancing the Mental Load. I truly hope these resources help with reducing Mom Guilt by relieving the mental load & redefining household roles!